Doing good?

My sister Jen, an amazing girl, recently completed a one year Americorps contract, at an elementary school in New Orleans. Back home on Long Island, she is faced with the current slim job pickings in NYC. Recently she emailed me, asking what I would think about her "selling her soul to the man at an evil corporate job" sine there are very few non-profit jobs where she would have the opportunity to "do good". I promptly wrote her back, telling her, that in my opinion, what you do should in no way define who you are. We both have plenty of friends and family in the private sector who are "good people", this has to do with their values, not where they work. I am lucky enough to have been able to work in the field of my choice thanks in part to support from my father, who works in business. (Thanks Dad!)

This got me thinking though, what does it mean to "do good". Its a question I am faced with on a daily basis here. As a white person, it is assumed I am rich (and even though I am surviving on a small grant here, compared to most Ethiopians, I am). This means, as I have mentioned before, the appearance of beggars on almost every walk outside. How one deals with beggars seems to be a personal choice. Some people I know give small change when they have it, knowing that a 1/2 bihr (with 16 bihr=1 dollar) has far more worth to a beggar than to them self. Paul never gives them anything. He believes that this encourages further begging, and dissuades people from seeking other employment. I am more a believer in giving food, feeling that it can't be misused. But I don't give to anyone. As heartbreaking as the kids in Addis are, I don't like to encourage them running up to ferenji in packs, demanding "one bihr". So I tend to give to kids on their own, or more often to mothers with small children. They seem to me the most destitute. Paul and I discuss this a great deal as we walk the streets of Addis. His way allows him never having to make a decision in who is "most in need" but it doesn't leave him feeling "good". Mine does, but usually not for long. Even if I give a kilo of bananas away, half a block later I am likely to run in to a mother and child sleeping on the street, with nothing left to give them. And have I done good? If I feel good doing it, does it still count as "doing good"?

So what is good? I great thing about Addis is the inexpensive (by American standards) spa services, and I recently indulged in a 1 hour Swedish massage that cost me 10 dollars U.S. ! I walked out feeling great, but fell asleep thinking of the implications of those 10 dollars. It seemed to me that I was supporting the local economy, by paying the salary of at least one person working at the spa. But who knows how that dollar could have been better spent. Is it ok because I work at a nonprofit, but it wouldn't be if I worked for a private sector company here? Is it over indulgent to pay for a massage here, when others have so little? Or is it helpful to support local industry?

This brings me back to my sister and family. I believe that Jen and I were raised with great values (thanks to the aforementioned dad and an equally amazing mom), even though we were exposed to some less than stellar ones on a daily basis during our upbringing on Long Island. And I think that is how you become "good" It has nothing to do with your profession or where you work. There are plenty of snobby NGO workers here, and plenty of kind people working in the private sector in the U.S. It has to do with who you are. How you treat others and what you value. Do you drive a nice car because you like having a nice car? Or because you think that car makes you a better person than others? We like nice things in the Gold family (especially spa massages) but we know that those nice things are just things, at that those things don't define us. I try to take the values I grew up with with me here. The belief in the importance of giving, but also in making yourself happy. And that, at least to me, may be the best way to "do good"